Relationship Standards: Ten Critical Questions


A very strong, Christian single I know tweeted this today...

"The devil has a long queue of married women trying to convince me to settle for a #FixerUpper. Nope. #VeryBasic"

LOL!  :)  It reminded me of a teaching I've been giving to singles for years and years called:

Relationship Standards: Ten Critical Questions you MUST ask before you fully commit to ANY romantic relationship!

(Stop “falling” in love. You’ll hurt yourself!  Who you love is your choice!)

1.  Is the individual fully committed to Christ? (Matt 16:24-26)
• Is there any spiritual fruit being demonstrated?  Have they discipled anyone?
• Fruit is always a sign of maturation.

2.  Does the person understand and obey the principles of God's Word? (Jam 1:22-25)
• Agreement is one thing, action is another.
• The person must be a "doer" of the Word. You don't want a flaky Christian!

3.  Is the individual free emotionally from former loves? (Php 3:13)
• This is a tough question because it takes so long to answer.
• We recommend a courtship of one year to allow time to learn one another.

4.  Do they have the same standards regarding love, romance, sex, and marriage? (Heb 13:4)
• In other words, are they willing to be your friend in courtship and wait until marriage?
• How do they view having and raising children? (Deut 6:1-12)

5.  Is the person committed to the church and ministry? (Heb 10:24-25)
• If not, why not?
• Lack of commitment to the local church is often a sign of immaturity.

6.  Does the person have a good work ethic? (Col 3:23)
• Are they excelling in their vocation and/or education?  Are they honest and punctual?
• Do you want to be involved with a lazy person?

7.  Is the individual a good financial steward? (Pr 22:7; 1 Cor 4:2)
• Are they in debt?  If so, what is their attitude towards debt?
• Do they believe in budgeting, giving, saving, and investing?

8.  Are family and friends good influences on their thinking and actions? (Pr 12:26; 1 Cor 15:33)
• Or are they too easily swayed by poor examples?
• Can you deal with their family?

9. Do they respond well under pressure? (Heb 11:1; 6)
• Or do they quickly crumble?  Again, this takes time to learn. (Courtship!)
• How a person handles drama will have a large impact on a relationship.

10.  Does the person have goals and dreams? (Pr 21:5; 29:18)
• If so, are those dreams inspired by God?  Are they clear, measurable, and written?
• If not, what does that say about their drive to succeed for God’s glory?